Hello again, cats and kittens! As I stated the other day, a recent catch-up on my reader found that I had neglected to acknowledge and respond to some additional award nominations. Now we’ve already covered that this amount of kindness shown toward a festering ball of cynicism and sarcasm like myself is probably a sure sign of mass mental illness on the part of, well…most of you, really. But there is another point to address as well – as you may well know many of these awards involve the disclosure of a number of facts about the receiving blogger. As I have been showered with your adoration recently, it has become somewhat difficult to come up with a unique list each time without beginning to repeat myself about…myself. Thus, when I saw that both Grimmgirldotcom and Boba and Games had each nominated me for my second and third Versatile Blogger Award, respectively (and with many, many thanks to each of you!) it occurred to me “Goddammit, I don’t even know if I know that many things about myself in total, let alone interesting ones!” And that led to this very special post.
You see, kids, believe it or not – I have a friend. Not just any friend, mind you – the best friend. That wasn’t a typo. She isn’t A best friend, or even just MY best friend – she is THE. BEST. FRIEND. It’s simply an objective fact – after all, if you can stand to call ME your best friend under any circumstances, you must be the best friend in history. She is the one..the only…the Malevolent Moogle.
So, I went to MM and I explained my conundrum and I asked if she would mind making a list of seven things about me that she thought people should know and/or laugh at incessantly. Her initial response was “Fuck you, douchebag!” but as that is her normal response to pretty much anything I say, I wasn’t concerned. And as always, MM came through. Not only did she list seven things, along with eliciting my promise that I would in fact give them all exactly as she had given them to me – with some additional reaction from myself – but she even threw in a bonus eighth thing as well. Well, that or she can’t fucking count – the jury is still out. So, without further ado, the Malevolent Moogle’s list of facts about EWE.
1. “Has a charisma score of 4 (low, very low).” (EWE’s take: MM is a huge D&D fan, and is decidedly upset with me that I have not yet rolled a character for her to torture, maim, and then finally drive to suicide in one of her campaigns.)
2. “Passive trait: semi-clever.” (EWE’s take: Huh…that’s actually a lot more clever than I had figured she found me. Go me!)
3. “Non-combat companion pet that best matches EWE’s essence: whelpling.” (EWE’s take: A tiny, harmless, ineffectual, fragile, barely functional dragon…so you’re saying I’m a dragon?! Sweet!)
4. “If EWE was a song, he would be ‘tubthumping’ by chumbawumba. Because no matter how many times he gets knocked down, he will always get up again. Also, he is old, and annoying as hell.” (EWE’s take: I HAD THIS FUCKING SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE REST OF THE GODDAMN DAY! GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT MM!!)
5. “Is the human equivalent of onesie pajamas. Cute, quirky, comfy, not good for being in public.” (EWE’s take: Ironically, this is what my ex-fiance also thought about me…minus the cute, quirky, and comfy parts. Oh, and MM sees not going out in public as a positive thing – or at least, that’s what she told me when I said “Dude. Harsh.”)
6. “Is the type of person who would always opt to be Luigi, even if given first pick (you fuckin loser).” (EWE’s take: Why the fuck is everyone always hating on Luigi? What the fuck did Luigi ever do to you people?)
7. “Is totally Armin!!”
(EWE’s take: Ok, even on my WORST GODDAMN DAY, I do not whine as much as Armin.)
8. “I’m glad we’re friends!” (EWE’s take:
Yisssss – me too!)
True story – MM and her husband saved my life. Not a metaphor, not figuratively – when my entire world fell apart in one horrible moment, MM was the one that reminded me that not everyone saw me as worthless. I owe her a debt that I can never repay, and all because on the day we met, I said “tl;dr” out loud about something, and then accepted a piece of (really shitty) imported Japanese candy from her.
Now, on to the nominations!
And finally, The Rules:
- Write a post displaying the award.
- Thank the person who nominated you (including a link to their blog).
- Share 7 facts about yourself.
- Nominate other bloggers!
Once again, I am truly humbled and grateful for the support from all of you! And most of all, the evilest of evil thank yous to the Most Magnificent Malevolent Moogle – you’re the best! – EWE