#FrozenFoodFridays – Better Late (And Drunk) Than Never Edition

Greets, kiddos!  Yeah, I know – it isn’t Friday.  But in fairness, I started to plan this on Friday – it just took me a few extra days to work the kinks out and get some other matters attended to.  So, I’m still counting it as #FrozenFoodFridays, and to hell with anyone that wants to argue the point!  Now, I’ve noticed that two particular types of treats seem to appeal to most of you moreso than the rest – sweets, and alcohol.  I knew there was something I liked about all of you!  I’m kind of glad I haven’t set you all on fire…yet.  Anyway – I decided to once again combine these two favorites of yours, mine, and anyone who has any taste whatsoever, in a way that I hadn’t tried before.  This resulted in something very special – I give to you EWE’s Boozy Buckeyes!

buckeye-booze
The ability to make just about any flavor liquor is one of humanity’s only positive traits.

Ingredients:

  1. 2 cups creamy peanut butter (maybe more depending on how mixing goes)
  2. 1 cup butter, softened
  3. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  4. 1 teaspoon salt
  5. 5 cups powdered sugar
  6. 1/4 cup peanut butter vodka
  7. 1/4 cup chocolate liquor
  8. 3 cups dark chocolate chips
  9. 1/8 teaspoon coconut oil

In a large mixing bowl, combine the peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and salt until it is well mixed.  Slowly add the powdered sugar, continuing to mix as you go.  When it is all well mixed, add the booze.  Continue mixing until thoroughly combined.  If the mixture is too thin to scoop into balls, add additional peanut butter to thicken.  Once combined, scoop into 1″ balls onto a baking sheet lined with parchment or wax paper.  Freeze for 30-40 minutes.

While the peanut butter balls are freezing, combine your dark chocolate chips and coconut oil in a microwave safe bowl and melt in 30-second bursts, stirring between each burst.  Once the peanut butter balls are set, insert a toothpick into the center of each ball and use to dip the ball into the chocolate bowl – but make sure to leave the top of each ball exposed so it looks like a buckeye, otherwise you’ve missed the entire point!  Return the chocolate covered balls (HA!) to the baking sheet and return to the freezer until the chocolate has set.  Remove the toothpick and keep these refrigerated until ready to serve.  Or, if you’re me, remove the toothpick, reflect on the pathetic state of your life, and eat the entire fucking tray while drinking the rest of the peanut butter and chocolate liquor combined in a glass and mixed with your tears.  Either way, enjoy! – EWE

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#FrozenFoodFridays – Return of the Sweets Edition

Hello, humans!  I just couldn’t let another week go by without letting you into my kitchen for everybody’s favorite part of this blog – I mean, aside from my rampant nihilism – #FrozenFoodFridays!  Now, as an extra special treat this week, this delicious treat will both satisfy your sweet tooth and your booze craving – and I made it up completely myself!  Which will be evident by 1. the actual picture of it I took, and 2. the relatively vague measurements I give for the recipe.  So here, without further ado, is EWE’s Salted Caramel Chocolate Porter Beer Bread with Bailey’s Irish Glaize!

Bread Ingredients:

  1. Self-rising flour (3 cups)
  2. Brown sugar (1/3 cup)
  3. Vanilla extract (1/2 teaspoon)
  4. Honey (not too much, just to taste)
  5. Hershey’s chocolate syrup (again, to taste, but the more the merrier)
  6. Genesee Brewhouse Salted Caramel Chocolate Porter (12 oz – and obviously any chocolate beer can work)

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  Combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl and mix well until a rich brown dough is formed.  If you overestimated on the flour, you can add a little more beer/chocolate syrup/honey to make sure everything gets absorbed.  Place dough mixture in 9″ loafpan and make sure it is evenly distributed and smooth out the top.  Place in oven and bake for 55 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the middle of the loaf comes out clean.  Remove from oven and set aside to cool while making the glaize.

Glaize Ingredients:

  1. Powdered sugar (1 1/4 cups)
  2. Bailey’s Irish Creme liquor (2 tablespoons, at least)
  3. Heavy cream (2 teaspoons)

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and whisk together until smooth.  For a slightly thinner (and far more potent) glaize, add a few more splashes of Bailey’s while mixing.

Place the bread on aluminum foil and lightly drizzle the top with honey.  Then pour the glaize over the entire top of the bread.  Finally, drizzle lightly with some Hershey’s syrup.  And I know what you’re thinking – how the fuck does this fit with #FrozenFoodFridays, right?  Here’s how – slice and serve with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream!

And there you have it, kids!  Next time you’re massively depressed and can’t decide between getting shitfaced or pigging out on sweets, remember – EWE says, why the fuck not both?! – EWE