#FrozenFoodFridays – Back to the Ice Cube Tray Edition

Hello, creatures!  Once again, another week has drawn to a close, and once again, I am very fucking glad it has.  Never moreso than now, as I am embarking on something of a new challenge in my life.  You see, kiddos, ol’ EWE here dislikes being hurt.  I mean, not all the time…sometimes a little pain is kind of fun (Editor’s Note: Getting WAY off topic here!) alright, alright – ahem, anyway, my reaction to rejection or emotional damage from someone in the past has generally been to not so much burn bridges as INCINERATE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IN A TEN MILE RADIUS.  As such…there is usually no real recovery.  But this time…something is different.  I have decided…to wait for someone.  Not because I have to.  Not because they’ve asked me to.  Not because by doing so I am guaranteed a place in that person’s life at some point.  Simply because I have felt what it is like to be loved by that person…and it is worth waiting for.  And so I shall.  It doesn’t necessarily mean I will enjoy it, or it won’t hurt to see her with others as she determines what she wants from life…but I will endure it, and I will be there for her should she stumble or fall.  I’m not entirely sure why – my rule of thumb would be to convert any remaining care for someone into seething hatred and move on – but I’ve neither the desire nor the ability to do so in this case.  I can’t explain it fully – I just know that this is worth waiting for, and so I will wait.

ewe-and-editor-waiting

So, in the spirit of trying to numb the pain and distract myself from the emptiness…I’ve got the perfect thing in mind for #FrozenFoodFridays!  What is the frozen component this week, you ask?  Well, if you read the title, then you know – grab yourself a glass and some ice cubes, because we’re hitting the booze once again!  Time for a simple, classy and classic painkiller that was first introduced to me by, ironically enough, the red-headed demoness that has introduced more pain into my life than just about anyone else!  Time for some of EWE’s Gin and Ginger Ale!

gin-and-ginger-ale

It’s just as simple as it sounds.  First, you’ll need a glass and some ice cubes.  Next fill about 1/3 of the glass with gin – my two personal favorites are either Beefeater or Bombay Sapphire.  Then fill the other 2/3 of the glass with some Seagrams ginger ale or Vernor’s ginger soda.  Garnish with a lime slice and enjoy.  Then repeat several times.  Though one word of caution – don’t overdo it with this or any other gin-based drink, because once you’ve thrown up juniper berries, you will know the true meaning of suffering.  And on that pleasant note, another #FrozenFoodFridays draws to a close.

And to the one I wait for, who is most likely not reading this – if you wonder how long I’m willing to wait for you, the answer is not forever.  I’ll wait forever and a day. – EWE

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Super Duper Sunday with EWE & Editor

Greets, humans!  It has been a bit, hasn’t it?  (Editor’s Note: Hello, friends.  Apologies for the prolonged absence, as well as for missing the last week’s #FrozenFoodFridays.)  Grr…as you can see, in recompense for being a bit derelict in my #FrozenFoodFridays duties, I have elected to allow a bit more freedom to Editor in this entry, per the suggestion of LightningEllen – who for some reason seems to believe that Editor makes positive contributions here.  (Editor’s Note: Well, I do seem to be a bit more honest about my emotions than you.)  Do…not…push…it.

this-could-be-fun

The past few days have been…exhausting.  On one hand, work is going well.  I found out that a coworker is leaving the office, which does sadden me somewhat, as she was a human that I didn’t constantly abhor, but also presents an opportunity to work more, which I always enjoy as a distraction from the absolute shit show that is my personal “life.”  (Editor’s Note: Now, now, it isn’t all that bad.)  Oh?  I wake up during the night calling a name who, if she knew it were happening, would quite likely murder me.  Horribly.  (Editor’s Note: That isn’t…necessarily true.)  Really?  She wishes I was someone else.  That isn’t a metaphor – she LITERALLY wishes I was a different person.  (Editor’s Note: Be patient – let her get to know you, and she will likely not wish you were anyone else at all.)  ……you do know who you’re talking to, right?  (Editor’s Note: Sigh.  We both know it isn’t in you to give up anyway, particularly in this instance, correct?  So don’t worry so much.  Remember one of our favorite songs?)

Sure, fine, whatever.  Optimistic asshole.

lots-to-offer

On the plus side, I managed to indulge in my enjoyment for cooking and baking, even if I did miss out on #FrozenFoodFridays.  But never fear – I bring you a culinary delight that is even better than a frozen treat.  Behold EWE’s Beastly Beer Bread of Butchery!  (Editor’s Note: It’s just beer bread…tasty, but just beer bread.)

beer-and-cheese-beer-bread
Mmmm…

Ingredients:

  1. 3 cups self-rising flour
  2. 1/4 cup sugar
  3. 12 oz. beer (as a starter recipe, I use Great Lakes Eliot Ness)
  4. 1/2 cup melted butter (that’s one stick)

Instructions:

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  In a medium mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar and beer and mix.  Pour mixture into a greased or non-stick loaf pan.  Pour the melted butter over the top of the mixture in the loaf pan.  Place in the oven and bake for 1 hour.  Remove from the oven and let cool at least 15 minutes.

For best results, continue drinking the entire time the bread is baking, and then pull the fresh bread apart and consume immediately after it is finished.  But hey, that’s just me.  (Editor’s Note: It’s actually good even if you haven’t gotten thoroughly drunk waiting for it to bake…)  Yeah, but what’s the fun in that? – EWE

A Moment with Editor

Hello, friends.  You probably only know me from the occasional Editor’s Notes you see here and there when EWE is on a tirade.  (EWE’s Note: How DARE you reverse our roles like this?!  You release me from these parentheses RIGHT NOW!)  Just be patient for a little bit.  I’ve kept us out of jail this long, so don’t you owe me that?  (EWE’s Note:…point taken.  Carry on.)

You see, I thought that the tone of this entry, being rather different from the norm, would perhaps be more impactful coming from a different voice.  While anything that is posted on Evil Wizard, Esq. is always open for you to share with your friends (EWE’s Note: Or enemies!) we rarely request that you spread the word.  But for this, I would ask only that if you feel this message is one that resonates with you, or that would resonate with someone you know, you spread this message.  I truly feel it is something that many people encounter in their lives, from one side or the other, and would benefit from seeing from this perspective, even if only a little.  If you find you agree, I would only humbly ask that you share the following with someone that could use it.

beach-wine

Now you may wonder where I found such a long-winded meme online.  The answer is…I didn’t.  The picture is just a random photo, true enough – but the words are my own.  They are drawn from my own experiences.  And while sometimes writing acts as a catharsis, a way to take what is trapped inside and remove it and place it elsewhere, when I read over these particular words again, they still resonate with so many feelings.  And so I wonder if perhaps they may help someone else, on either side of such a bond, recognize what it is that they have.

I know this is quite different from the normal…colorful streams of consciousness that you’ve come to expect from EWE here (EWE’s Note: Fuck yeah!) and I can promise that next time we will be returning to your regularly scheduled insanity.  But while it is often very, very hard for me to share a part of me with others without the shield of cynicism that EWE provides, I thought this may be something worthy of exception.

Best Wishes, – Editor