Good evening, mortals! As I said last time, my fire-haired eldest spawn has decided that I should do a series of Let’s Play streams taking us through the world of The Witcher. To anyone that was able to join me live, thanks so much, and I’ll try to get the audio better next time. But if you missed it, well, there’s no time like the present to get caught up! Join me, won’t you?
I also uploaded it to my YouTube channel – and I would be ever so grateful if you followed and subscribed to either or both! (Editor’s Note: “Grateful” here having the meaning “won’t immediately torch your village.”) YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
That’s all for now, fleshbags! To anyone in the US, have a safe Independence Day, but remember – if you watch or support the Orange Hobgoblin’s Nazi Dictator Military Parade, I have a meteor with your name on it. – EWE
You may recall, humans, that I had recently mentioned some changes that were possibly in the works here at the Ominous Dark Tower (TM) and that details would be forthcoming. Well, that day has come! After consulting with my hordes of darkness (Editor’s Note: meaning me, which probably doesn’t count, his sons, and Malevolent Moogle) HORDES OF DARKNESS, I have decided that you all have not been graced with enough of me only posting here. As such, I have decided to expand my empire: in addition to getting back to posting more Game Night videos, I will be live streaming more on Twitch and posting some Let’s Play videos on YouTube. I’m also in the early planning stages, along with my boys, of writing and recording a periodic podcast focused primarily on gaming, comedy, and wrestling (although they rejected my naming it “GCW” and doing a loop of wrestling fans chanting “G-C-DUB! G-C-DUB”) with the occasional tangent when I feel the need to rant off-topic.
Further details and links will be coming soon, but to give you an idea how excited I am to do this, I cancelled my Netflix and subscribed to Game Pass just to give me more material to work with and fewer excuses not to work on it. I hope you enjoy what we have coming soon as much as you’ve enjoyed my ramblings here thus far. Because I’m going to need help and input to make this work…as I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Talk to you more soon, mortals! – EWE
Greets, mortals! Let’s start things off with a thank you to those of you that may have joined the game night crew earlier tonight as we dusted off the card table and streamed one of our favorites, Cards Against Humanity. As always, it was whack, inappropriate, borderline-aneurysm-inducing (Editor’s Note: well, for him, anyway) fun. For those that couldn’t join us live, don’t despair, my marvelous minions – just look below!
Now, normally that might be enough to call it a night – oh but I told you last time, old EWE has decided he wants to start ramping things up around here again. Sure, I may not be able to post as OFTEN as I might like – but when I do, dammit, I’m going to make damn sure it was worth it. So I have reached WAY back to find one of my most beloved segments from early in the blog’s life, dusted off the mothballs (Editor’s Note: or, in this case, freezer burn) whatever – I present to you the return of #FrozenFoodFridays!
So, let’s get the negatives out of the way right off the bat, shall we? Devour frozen meals have a completely godawful marketing department. I mean, a balls-out, what-the-shit, genuinely horrific messaging campaign marked their entrance into the marketplace, and only got marginally better with their recent Deadpool 2 tie-in commercial campaign. I loved that movie, but it didn’t influence my frozen dinner purchasing. The commercial itself was entertaining as hell though, I’ll give them that.
The problem with all of this fancy packaging, 6th grade “food you wanna fork” (seriously, that is their slogan – if my eyes rolled any harder they would fall out) marketing campaign, and Deadpool licensing agreement is that it all leads to increased cost to you at the register. When purchased at regular price, Devour frozen meals are some of the most expensive per ounce frozen meals you are going to find in the standard frozen food section of the grocer’s freezer, without venturing into specialty areas such as gluten free or the like. However, this is where the good news begins because the meals are quite often not at regular price recently – more and more often, they are on sale. And if you can find them while on such a sale, take full advantage of it, for you will not be disappointed.
I’ve not been fortunate enough yet to have sampled all of the wide variety of Devour meals, in particular the new sandwiches – but what I have had so far has been universally fantastic. Painless preparation – heat, stir, heat again, let stand, stir and enjoy. And as you’ve probably noticed above, they have one dish in particular that combines lasagna, alfredo sauce, Italian sausage, and bacon – four of my favorite things to eat in one scrumptious meal. Devour frozen meals definitely get a thumbs up from me!
That’s it for tonight folks, as old EWE is hearing the siren song of his sheets and blankets – but with luck maybe I can be back before the weekend is out! Until then, kiddos! – EWE
Welcome to mid-week, mortals! You’re halfway to…wondering where in the hell your weekend went before doing all of this over again, for the rest of your natural lives. BWAHAHAHAHA! Ah, but I don’t bear all bad news – in your spare time, you could stumble upon spectacular little gaming gems like the one I’m about to tell you about!
This is actually a two game series that was funded on Kickstarter and developed by White Giant RPG Studios, and was brought to my attention by my very good friend and fellow streamer, as well as husband to my bestest friend in the world Malevolent Moogle, the one and only Absurdum. Please, please, pretty please, find and follow him on YouTube and Twitch – he is very funny and talented and knows his games! Last time we got together, I saw him playing what appeared to be a retro-RPG and asked what it was. After watching him play it for a while longer and hearing from him about how much content the game and its sequel roughly contained, I pulled them up on Steam and found them to be on sale in a bundle for under $5 total – and you can guess what happened.
I have not yet progressed far through the main story of the game yet, but that is primarily because I have been reveling in the comfort-food-feeling of the combat and leveling mechanics. For those with fond memories of being able to lose themselves in an hour or so of fast-paced, turn-based combat with a relatively steady trickle of rewards in the form of skill points and gold for new abilities and equipment, you will be right at home, and the variety of character classes ensures that multiple playthroughs are unique in playstyle.
If these games are still on sale on Steam, and you have any fondness for old school JRPGs at all, this is a no-brainer from my standpoint. If they are not on sale, this still feels like a pretty solid value, but the developer’s website appears to have a demo version available for download, so try it out for yourself and if you like it as much as I do, by all means, support an indie dev, humans! – EWE
So another Friday is mercifully upon us, and that means that once again, myself, Dracollia, Beefer, Monkey, and our Special Buddy (along with Zero, our Feline Overlord) got together for our weekly gathering of gaming goodness! On the slate for this week was Samurai Spirit from Fun Forge. It’s a ton of fun, and unlike many of our card or board games, it’s cooperative (Editor’s Note: …ostensibly…) rather than competitive. However, while the average play time on the game’s website lists 20-45 minutes, our group’s…more colorful dynamic resulted in a significantly longer session. Also, I’m beginning to seriously worry that my son might be insane. And not just because he’s my offspring.
Anyway, we gave a shot at a streaming client for a live Twitch stream, but it wasn’t working out, so we just shot the video for later upload. And interestingly enough, even uploading it to Twitch didn’t work, so it’s a YouTube only week this week, unless you’d rather just watch below.
Next week, I’ll endeavor to either stream live to YouTube or have a working Twitch stream. Unless I don’t have time – I do this for free, after all. Much as I might like to do it for a living. Until next time, kiddos! – EWE
Well, humans…you had a good run. I mean, not really – but hey, I’m trying to let you go out with some dignity here, which is a far cry from the way you wiped out so many other species over the years, including SOME OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE. But sadly, all awful experiments have to come to an end sometime, and for you that time is now. Some of you are definitely not that bad, and I will genuinely miss a few, but it’s the other several billion that ruin it for you. So, I’m afraid it’s meteors, tidal waves, and my newest experiment, fire tornadoes across the globe. Sorry, nothing you can do now to stop it. Nothing can change my mind. I’ve had enough. Nothing could…possibly…
…………….GODDAMMIT, Alanah! Now what am I supposed to do, huh?! I can’t destroy that! LOOK AT THAT! IT’S FUCKING ADORABLE! Now thanks to you and Chelsea (I love you Chelsea, you’re adorable, don’t ever ever change) 5.99 billion mouthbreathers are going to get to continue fucking up the earth, and more importantly, MY LIFE! Fine then – but when I finally make good on taking a trip to SF, you owe me a drink! You know…after the, like, 20 I probably owe you for all the good shit you’ve done.
Anyway…I guess since I’m NOT going to vaporize you all now, it’s time for #FrozenFoodFridays. Once again, I’m cheating a bit this week, as the item in question may be frozen, or may not. And if it is, you’re gonna want to thaw it before you get started. But fuck it – it counts. So here are EWE’s secret/created in a drunken stupor and can’t remember anything exact recipe Cilantro Lime Swordfish Steaks!
Swordfish Steaks, frozen or fresh (if frozen, be sure to thaw first; if not, um, don’t).
Limes, several (in case you missed it last time, I’m not big on numbers – just get a bunch).
Cilantro, 1 bunch washed and chopped (if on the fence about how much to use, err on the side of MORE CILANTRO).
Olive Oil (a small amount to grease the baking dish).
Lemon (use sparingly, as it combines well but can overpower the lime, which defeats the whole purpose)
Garlic, 1 clove, minced (I love garlic in almost anything – but sometimes just the simple cilantro and lime combo is very refreshing. Try both and see what you prefer!)
Black Pepper / Crushed Red Pepper (see comment for garlic above).
Liquor (not actually an ingredient, but tends to help me think I’m not fucking up too badly).
Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
Grease a baking dish using a small amount of olive oil. Place the fish steaks in the baking dish. Cut several of the limes in half and squeeze them over the fish until the steaks are covered and surrounded by lime juice. Cut a remaining lime into slices and place these on and around the fish steaks in the baking dish. Now cover everything with the chopped cilantro. If you have used any optional ingredients, add those at this time as well. In a small bowl, squeeze a few more limes to be used to baste during baking.
Place the baking dish on the middle oven rack, uncovered, and bake for 15-20 minutes, basting occasionally, until the fish is easy to flake with a fork. Serve garnished with a fresh lime or lemon slice, if desired.
So I hope you enjoyed #FrozenFoodFridays once again, as well as the world not ending. You can thank Alanah and Chelsea. I did get a small measure of revenge though – while she was playtesting a VR game, I projected an image of my face into her headset.